and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
