last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
