you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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