White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
