Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
