you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
