Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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