I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
