she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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