theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
