these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
