You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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