So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
