So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
