It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
