Your tits are I can't wait for
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
