Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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