i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
