im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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