i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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