She announced her abortion via fbk
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
