3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
