dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
