I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
