Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
