shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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