So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
