Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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