There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
