you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
