Rock
Scissors
Fuck
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
