i permit you to call me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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