i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
