I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
