So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
my nose is crying tears of wow.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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