i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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