Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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