I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
