Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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