I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
