yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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