I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
