Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i drank out of a bidet.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
