Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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