Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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