you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize