i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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