shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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