Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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