did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
