She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
