He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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