Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize