I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
