Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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