You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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