my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
